Isn’t Ted Nugent just the most despicable assbooger in all the world? I’m honestly amazed by the amount of caca that spews out of his big, fat maw.

“If Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again,” the Motor City Bragman told a mooing herd of NRA bovine, “I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year.”

I love watching him rant because, when he does, you can actually see the insides of his mouth, see past the tongue, past the uvula, all the way down his throat and into his warm wet guts, which I suspect to be the womb where Stupid was born.

“See, I’m a black Jew at a Nazi-Klan rally, and there are some power-abusing corrupt monsters in our federal government that despise me,” he later said in an attempt to justify his NRA comments.

Oh, yes, I’m amused by Ted Nugent—The Noodge, as I like to call him—for having saltpeter in his pecker and gunpowder where his brain should be, but not nearly as amused as I am by the professional overreactionistas who vocalize outrage over comments that offend or frighten them. I don’t know about you, but I don’t have the time, nor the interest, nor the extra room in my rectum to store any bitterness toward anything a man with gunpowder brains and saltpeter jism has to say.

“The comment is disrespectful to blacks and Jews,” wrote James Johnson of Inquisitr.com.

Oh, for crying out Christ. It’s a frickin’ metaphor! If I say, “I’m a kitten at a coyote convention,” would that be disrespectful to felines? Yes, of course, his characterization of his perceived outsider status is excessive, but that’s how you have fun with analogies—by taking them to the absurd extreme, such as when I write, “If ignorance is a disease, Ted Nugent is HIV (Hateful, Idiotic and Vapid).” (more…)