Poetry & Art Series 2012 :

On Weds., May 2, UCSD’s Pulitzer Prize-winning poet Rae Armantrout and San Diego Citybeat’s Edwin Decker will read in the Museum of the Living Artist, 1439 El Prado, Balboa Park.  Doors open at 6:30 p.m. and the show starts at 7:00 p.m. Members free, $5 at the door or bring a snack/wine to share.

Rae Armantrout’s book of poetry Versed, published by the Wesleyan University Press, earned the 2010 Pulitzer Prize for Poetry. On March 11, 2010, Armantrout was awarded the National Book Critics Circle Award for Versed.  Her work has been honored by the Foundation for Contemporary Arts, and she received a Guggenheim Fellowship in 2008.  Her most recent collection, Money Shot, was published in February 2011.

Edwin Decker is a freelance journalist and columnist whose work has appeared in The San Diego Union Tribune, San Diego Reader, Modern Drunkard Magazine, Seattle Stranger, Tucson Weekly, Cleveland Scene and other magazines and newspapers across the country. His satiric and sometimes controversial column, “Sordid Tales,” runs every other week in San Diego CityBeat.

Decker’s book Barzilla and Other Psalms, published by Puna Press, was nominated for a 2007 San Diego Book Award and his performance piece, “Questioning Innocence is Questionable,” won the grand prize for the San Diego Visual Arts Performance Slam.  Website: EdwinDecker.com.

Following the reading, there will be open mic for writers or painters who would like to share a few pieces of their work.

Please contact host, Michael Klam, with any questions:  619-957-3264 (cell) or 619-236-0011 (museum).  Writers/artists would like to read on the open mic, can sign up ahead of time at mkklam@gmail.com or sign in on the night of the show.

More info about Rae Armantrout can be found here and for her Pulitzer Prize-winning book “Versed,” see versedreader.site.wesleyan.edu.  Edwin Decker articles and poetry can be found at edwindecker.com and punapress.com.

Look, I don’t like this new Arizona immigration law anymore than you do, but it’s really starting to bug me that so many people—who haven’t even read it—are howling to holy Hell on Earth about it being racist.

Sorry, folks. I’ve read SB 1070 and I can say with confidence that, as of today, May 7, 2010, there is nothing racist about it.

For one thing, there is an entire passage (lines 30 to 34 of Section 2) that explicitly prohibits law enforcement from using “race, color or national origin” as a determining factor. The only other part of the bill that identifies when law enforcement is required to investigate the status of a person’s citizenship is this:

“WHERE REASONABLE SUSPICION EXISTS THAT THE PERSON IS AN ALIEN WHO IS UNLAWFULLY PRESENT IN THE UNITED STATES, A REASONABLE ATTEMPT SHALL BE MADE, WHEN PRACTICABLE, TO DETERMINE THE IMMIGRATION STATUS OF THE PERSON.”

Jesus Cristo, I hate legal-speak! It’s almost as though all our laws have to get approved by Jenny Gibberish over at the Office of Redundancies and Gobbledygook to ensure the text and words confusing to people and humans it is. Allow me to rewrite:

“Law enforcement shall attempt to determine a person’s immigration status, where reasonable suspicion exists that he or she is unlawfully present in the U.S.”

The key phrase here is “Where reasonable suspicion exists.” It’s the phrase that proves it’s not a racist law. (more…)

I took my nephew Noah, and honorary nephew Kelton, to the Comic-Con today. What a blast! I know I wouldn’t have had nearly as good of a time if it were not having two youngsters with me just freaking out as we turned every corner.

engage!

It started off with a bang. The minute we walked in we saw the Star Trek Captain’s chair and a group of Halo fighters walking around. Then some little girl walked by with a light saber and it was all over. Noah and Kelton went nuts.

Must.

Have.

Light.

Saber.

(more…)

I saw this image on Fox News tonight of a couple of Arabs burning the U.S. flag while holding it upside down. Of course, the talking heads were getting all freaked out about such an image, but the first thing I thought was, Hmm. Doesn’t that cancel itself out?

Sure, when Americans fly the flag upside-down it’s supposed to be a distress call, but when protesters fly it upside-down they are saying, “Down with America!” Same goes for burning the flag, which means you hate what that flag currently stands for.
But what does it mean when you burn a flag that is upside down. Seems to me you are saying, “I hate what the upside down flag stands for.” And since the upside down flag stands for “Down with America,” when you are burning it, aren’t you really saying, “Up with America!”?

I’m just saying.

Here is the atrocious political comment du jour by a presidential candidate. It’s from Senator McCain about Senator Clinton’s war plan she laid out at the last debate:

“…The statements made by Senator Clinton,” said McCain, “about setting a specific date for [withdrawing troops from Iraq] is the first time, I think, in American political history, that a candidate of a major political party has advocated surrender.”

He’s been throwing around this, “Democrats want to surrender” crap since the start of the surge.

Apparently John McCain doesn’t know what the word surrender means. Because Senator Clinton is not suggesting the troops lay down their weapons, throw up their hands and deliver themselves to the mercy of the enemy. Nor does she propose that we abandon our overall war against extreme Islamic terrorists.

We’ve been told over and over that the war on terror has many fronts and that Iraq is just one of them. If that’s true then getting out of Iraq isn’t surrender. It’s a strategic retreat. Because if things on a particular front are hopeless, or, if that particular front is worthless in terms of military or strategic value, or, both — as is the case with Iraq — then the smart thing to do is retreat from that front and put your resources where they can be more effective.

You think a war hero would know the difference between retreat and surrender. Actually, he probably does know the difference. I’m quite certain McCain knows “surrender” is not what Clinton is advocating. But it doesn’t matter to him because it serves his agenda to portray Hillary as weak, timid, and afraid.

I don’t care much for Hillary Clinton, but she’s far from weak, timid or afraid.

Some of you may remember a recent Sordid Tale about an encounter that occurred outside my favorite neighborhood slaughtering hole, The Tilted Stick, during which a guy named Scotty and several of his friends ambushed me because it was his opinion that I wasn’t local enough to patronize the establishment.

Well, two Sundays ago, Scotty and I crossed paths again.

I’ve dreaded our imminent reunion, largely because I didn’t want to be in the position of having to accept or reject his apology: I didn’t want to accept his apology because, well, how rotten-to-the-core must you be to gang up on a person over such absurd matters as his place of residence? On the other hand, I’m not a grudge-holder. I don’t give a crud about Scotty, except for the comedy of him, which I enjoy sharing with you. So, no, I didn’t want an apology, though I always assumed one was forthcoming.

Imagine my surprise to learn that not only was he not going to say “sorry,” but that this jackass would actually try to instigate another melée—“jackass,” incidentally, being the perfect word to describe him, as he is not quite a tool, not exactly a douchebag, nor hoodlum, hooligan, thug, punk or pissant, but, rather, a raging jackass with whom—on a lazy Sunday evening—I once again came face to face.

As it happened, the same two bartenders were present, as were several of the same regulars from the night of our first altercation. We were drinking and having a good time when Scotty came in. He made his rounds, hugging and shaking hands with everyone he knew. At first, he was oblivious to me, thankfully, as I enjoyed covertly observing him mingling about as if he were The Man, utterly ignorant of how not The Man he really is. (more…)

click here to buy book

Cyanide Pill
(Rob Garbowski’s company, he designed this website)

Sweettooth
(Rob’s rock band)

Puna Press
(My publisher)

San Diego CityBeat Magazine
(My flagship paper)

CityBeat Blog
(Where we the writers of CityBeat all go to shoot the shit)

Below are 7 different festivals and/or events which I produce, organize or am in other ways involved:

1. Southern California Writer’s Conference
(I started working for them recently. Will probably start doing workshops soon. Stay tuned)

2. San Diego Indie Music Festival
(To hell with corporate. This is independant music. Independant!

3. San Diego Music Awards

4. North Park Music Thing

5. CityBeat Festival of Beers

6. Ultimate Music Challenge (a music competition in Viejas that I judge)

7. Ultimate Music Challenge Judges Blog

Tyler Jordan
(Tyler did a crapload of art for Barzilla and Other Psalms)

The Binge
(The only radio show that condones drinking, with your hosts Andy and Max)

Michael Steven Gregory
(Author, Independent film maker, executive director of the Southern California Writer’s Conference and bad-ass disc golfer to boot)

Winston’s Beach Club
710 Beach Club
(Two nightclubs where I bartend)

Mike Sager
(A fellow San Diego resident and friend to CityBeat, Sager is currently a reporter for Esquire . His former gigs include, staff writer for Washington Post, contributing editor for Rolling Stone, and writer-at-large for GQ)

Modern Drunkard Magazine
(A pulp tome of boozing and debauchery – featuring Sordid Tales)

Out of the Gutter Magazine
(A modern journal of pulp and degenerate fiction — featuring Sordid Tales)

Stairs to Nowhere (Tijuana Tales)
(A superb blog by my friend and colleague at CityBeat, Kinsee Morlan)

My Week in Music
(Scott Zensen, online San Diego music reporter: RIP 2008)

Note: If you don’t see your question asked and answered here, post yours in the comments field at the bottom and it will be answered shortly.

Q: Who built your website?
A: My graphic designer friend Rob Garbowski configured the template. He also created the banner on the main page. His band Sweettooth, by the way, rocks quite well.
Cyanide Pill
Sweettooth

Q: What is the “Archived Site” mentioned on the navigation bar?
A: That’s my old website. There is a lot of material over there (including some travel journals, a score of interviews, and all my old Sordid Tales of a Bartender in Heat columns) that was just going to take way too much time to repost, one article at a time, over here. Too much work, not enough time in the day. You can still visit the old site, but it’s more like a ghost town over there, which is fine. Ghost towns can be fun too. But it’s here where the action is.

Q: Do you have Instant Messaging?
A: Yes, I’m on AOL (AIM) , screen name: edecker62. Feel free to drop my line.

Q: Are you on any social networking sites?
A: Yes:

Twitter
Facebook
Myspace
BlipFM (online DJ site – awesome!)

Q: Can you write articles on spec for my newspaper or magazine?
A: Absolutely. I am a freelancer and am able and open to picking up new writing assignments.

Q: Are you available for readings and speaking engagements?
A: Yes. I routinely schedule readings and other spoken word performances in California. I also occasionally visit classrooms of all grades to talk about writing and journalism. Just email me for more info.

Q: How do I find out about upcoming readings and other events?
A: Sign up for the mailing list

Q: When can I catch you on the radio?
A: As of now,  The Binge on 103.7 Free FM (in San Diego) is on hiatus. The Binge, hosted by Andy and Max, is the only show on radio that condones drinking. Or, as the hosts put it, The Binge is about the 4 food groups: Drinking, Sports, Music and Women. The show airs every Friday at 10pm and I am a recurring guest the first Friday of every month when I sit in the studio and shoot the shit with Max and Andy about bartending and boozing. I also do a recurring bit called Drunk Thoughts. Tune in and/or call the studio. (619) 570-1037. We’d love to talk to you.

Q: Is Drunk Thoughts a ripoff of Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey?
A: Yes, most definitely.

Q: Why is it that I sometimes don’t see your Sordid Tales column in CityBeat. Isn’t it a weekly column?
A: Sordid Tales is now a biweekly column. It used to be in the paper every week, but I found that being on the weekly column grind kept me from getting things done, such as revamping my website, or publishing books. From now on Sordid Tales can be found in CityBeat Magazine every other week, usually around page 7 or so.

Q: How do I get the current Sordid Tales online?
A: You can get it right here, the same day it hits the stands, every other Wednesday. Just click on CURRENT COLUMN in the Category menu on the right side of the page.

Q: Why does Sordid Tales have two names?
A: When Sordid Tales first began in 1997, it was called Sordid Tales of a Bartender in Heat. It ran in a now defunct music and culture magazine called SLAMM. Sordid Tales of a Bartender in Heat was about the comedy and the tragedy of the nightclub business as told by a veteran mixologist.

For about 6 years, that was the title, until SLAMM sold its interest to Southland Publishing and became San Diego CityBeat. The people at Southwest decided they wanted to keep my column in the mix but asked if I wouldn’t mind broadening the theme a tad since CityBeat would be distributed to a much larger, more diverse audience.

It was good timing because after 6 or so years I had become bored with the industry-only topics to which Sordid Tales of a Bartender in Heat was limited. So, with the blessing of my new editor, Dave Rolland, I shortened the title and widened the scope: Where Sordid Tales of a Bartender in Heat was about the tragedy and the comedy of the bar scene as told by a veteran bartender, Sordid Tales was about the tragedy and comedy of the universe as seen through a bartender’s eyes. This allowed me to write about anything I wanted while still keeping the bartender tone: current events, politics, religion, romance, sports, cinema, science, pop culture, and of course sex and drugs and rock and roll now all easily fall under the umbrella of Sordid Tales coverage.

Q: I hear you play chess. How can I challenge you?
A: I play on a free chess site. Just go to www.chesscolony.com and register for free. Then look me up and challenge me to a game. My user name is rooksmasher. Shoot me an email when you’re ready to challenge so I know to accept.

Q: Will there ever be a compilation of your Sordid Tales columns?
A: Yes. Stay tuned here.

Q: What is Modern Drunkard Magazine?
A: Only one of the funniest drinking periodicals ever. It’s all about booze culture. They reprint my Bartender columns but that’s not why I think it’s so great. It’s just good, funny shit. The art is pulp-noir, the writing style is unapologetic hooch humor.

Modern Drunkard Magazine is based in Denver but distributed nationally. The best part about it is, every year they have a convention. It’s usually in Las Vegas, which is the perfect place for a convention of drunkards. It’s always a blast. The Modern Drunkard Magazine convention is basically a 3-day drunkfest, with awesome live bands and performance artists, burlesque shows, contests, speakers, mixers, after hours parties and of course booze booze booze everywhere you turn.

Q: How can I get the print version of Modern Drunkard?
A: From their website.

Q: Why is it, in your writings, you always say, “second best,” such as, “Annie Hall was Woody Allen’s second best movie,” or “Stephen Hawking is the second smartest scientist”? How come you never say something is the best or the biggest or the smartest?

A: Because superlatives make me uncomfortable. I don’t think anyone can really say what is the best movie is, or who is the smartest scientist. Especially, when somebody else is saying it for you. For instance, I may think Broadway Danny Rose is Woody Allen’s best movie, but you may not, so, I say it’s the second best and let the reader decide for themselves which they think is best.

To join the mailing list
Just send an email and write “add me” in the subject line.

Also, if you would like to post a question to be answered in my bartender advice column, or suggest a bartender to feature (both of which are for Pacific San Diego Magazine) this would be the place to do it.

Edwin Decker is a freelance writer and performance artist residing in San Diego. He regularly publishes articles in various newspapers and magazines in San Diego and around the country.

His work has appeared in, to name a few, The San Diego Union Tribune, San Diego Reader, Modern Drunkard Magazine, Seattle Stranger, Tucson Weekly, Creative Loafing (in Atlanta), Cleveland Scene and his mothership magazine San Diego CityBeat.

Though a freelancer, it is in CityBeat where his column Sordid Tales runs biweekly. Sordid Tales is a satiric look at the world from the perspective of a veteran bartender. It is often irreverent, seedy, controversial and, of course, sordid.

He has performed spoken word in venues around the country and extensively in San Diego county including the California Center for the Arts in Escondido and the Museum of the Living Artist in Balboa Park.

His book Barzilla and Other Psalms was nominated for a 2007 San Diego Book Award and his performance piece, “Questioning Innocence is Questionable,” won the San Diego Visual Arts Network multi-genre Performance Slam grand prize.

Aside from writing, he is also an event planner and produces and/or operates several major, southern California productions including the Southern California Writer’s Conference, San Diego Music Awards, San Diego IndieFest, The North by North Park Music Conference and the Ultimate Music Challenge.

Last but not least, Decker is a bartender, having slung drinks in several San Diego’s premier live music clubs including the now defunct Bacchanal, 4th and B, Buffalo Joe’s, 710 Beach Club (formerly Blind Melon’s) and Winston’s Beach club where he served as General Manager before being abruptly fired by an alcoholic, semi-insane, though lovable boss.

Decker grew up in Monroe, New York, a small suburbia about 50 miles northeast of Manhattan. His father (retired) was a grounds-keeper for the New York School for the Deaf. His mother (also retired) was an elementary school teacher and union President for the Cornwall school system in upstate New York. Decker is married with no children thanks to the wonders of birth control and a like-minded wife who would rather have her eyeballs sandblasted than get pregnant.