There’s been much controversy about a Pentagon survey that was sent recently to enlisted men and women, seeking their views on the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT).
The survey asks such questions as how unit morale might be affected under a gay commander and how a repeal might affect willingness to serve in the military. One multiple-choice query asks, “If a gay or lesbian service member was living with a same sex partner on base, what would you most likely do?” with the answer options ranging from “I would get to know them” to “I would probably move off base” to “I would key their car and write ‘F.A.G.’ on their footlocker.” OK, the last one was not an actual option, but it might as well have been. The question is every bit as bigoted as if it had asked, “How would you feel if a couple of Jews moved next door?”
However, as obnoxious as the survey seems, the real question is: Why are we even asking the troops? It doesn’t matter what they think. It wouldn’t matter if every enlisted person, from brigadier general to the grunt who peels potatoes, were to express contempt for the repeal of DADT, because the military works for us. And by “us,” I mean the citizens of the United States, occupants of the land of the free and subscribers to an equality-granting Constitution, which, incidentally, every member of the armed forces took an oath to uphold and defend. It doesn’t matter what they think about DADT because, in the military, it’s Don’t Ask, Just Tell—as in, don’t ask the soldiers what they think, just tell them how it’s gonna be and deal with it.
Proponents of the survey say it’s important to learn how a repeal will affect the fragile egosystem that is troop morale, which is funny because I don’t recall any surveys asking how their morale is affected by crappy medical coverage and inadequate armor. Nobody asked them how they felt about the probability of coming home with a cranium-crushing case of PTSD. I never heard of a questionnaire that asked the soldiers, “How will your morale be affected when your buddy’s head suddenly explodes and his brainbits splash all over your face?” We don’t ask because the military is not a democracy. Neither is America, for that matter. We are, thank Christ, a federal republic
The founders knew there was a problem with democracy, and the problem is majority rule, which sounds righteous except I’ve met The Majority and The Majority blows ass-clarinets. The Majority is arrogant, selfish and stupid. The Majority is a mob without torches and pitchforks. If a survey had been given to the students of the infamous, all-white Topeka, Kansas, elementary school, circa 1951, asking if they wanted desegregation, the majority would have responded, “Are you flippin’ nuts?!” Ditto the general public, which felt integration would damage student morale and disrupt the classroom. But it didn’t matter what the students or the public thought. It mattered what the Constitution thought, and the Constitution thought segregation was fucked.
Still does.
Which is why it’s not important what the troops will say about repealing DADT, although I think I know. I think they’re going to say, “Are you flippin’ nuts?!” as if the moment DADT is repealed, a million gay boners will spring up in barrack showers across the country. And, really, isn’t that what their reluctance is all about? That all these big, bad, gun-toting, macho, combat-warrior types are all wondering, “What if a gay hits on me in the shower? What will I do then?”
C’mon, Army dude. You’re a big, bad, gun-toting, macho, combat-warrior type. Stop acting like a musophobic housewife standing on a chair, screaming hysterically as you whack at rodents with a broom. You want to know what to do if a homosexual makes a play in the shower? You say, “Thanks, gay army dude! I’m totally flattered, but I’m straight,” and continue washing yourself (being cautious not to lather near your sexy parts). If he persists, tell him to knock it off or you will key his car and write “D.O.U.C.H.E.” on his footlocker. Yeah, it’s a shitty position for someone to put you in, but consider it ironic punishment for all your unwanted attempts to steal third base with the unsuspecting club-guppies you pulled at closing time.
Brothers and sisters of the military, I have a dream. I have a dream that you will prove me wrong. I have a dream that you will see this survey, and the repeal of DADT, as your golden opportunity to ditch your meathead reputation. I dream that you will complete the survey in a way that tells the Pentagon, “Queers welcome here!” And then you’ll actually make a point to welcome them: You will be polite and kind. You will familiarize yourself with gay culture, learn how to speak Flamboyish, maybe paint one of the barrack’s walls chartreuse. Call it the Cpl. Klinger Society Wall and Bulletin Board, where your gay comrades can tack up their firemen calendars and Lady Gaga Fan Club announcements.
But if you don’t—if you marginalize and belittle, if you dehumanize or harm your fellow soldiers, fellow human beings—well, then, you are a hypocrite. You talk a big game about defending liberty, but you’re just another tyrant who shoots guns in the air and grunts “oorah” as you masturbate over the Soldier of Fortune centerfold, proving that it’s you, not homosexuals, who should have their military eligibility questioned.
Yes the DADT survey stunk, but your article focused on the typical male fears about gay soldier boys in the showers with their wayward wieners. FACT: The overwhelming majority of homosexuals the military are women. ANOTHER FACT: Women are less horny than men and therefore less likely to prey upon other women in the shower.
I actually considered this Karyl, but ended up focusing on male fears because I really believe that’s what the hoo-ha is all about. I don’t believe anyone in the military is as worried or frightened about lesbians serving as they are gay men. Same as in the real world, where male homosexuality is far more scary to people than female.
This is one of your better written essays. I enjoyed it.
Karyl, the reason the male on male thing is an issue to be focused on and the female side of it is not is lesbians have long been as good as accepted in the military, nobody gives a **** about it.
In case you didn’t notice guys think 2 chicks getting it on is hot.
Toward the article, here’s a couple of points, starting with me noting I was in the Nav from ’79-83, my immediate supervisor was gay and it wasn’t a big deal. He had nothing to fear about being outed simply because he was one of, possibly THE most competant Aviation Fire Control Techs in the air wing. We are the guys the aircrews depend on to ensure the radar works and when the trigger is pulled the missile hits a target, not fall into the ocean. If you can count on a guy to go into battle and always save the day, he gets away with lots of day to day BS the lesser guys don’t, (like telling the CO to **** himself if he’s being a tool)and technical abilities have the same fringe benefit- my supervisor was an irreplaceable asset to our squadron.
So the first point I’m making is if gays in the military are pulling their weight and then some, nobody’s giving them a hard time. If the guy can be counted on nobody cares if they’re gay.
Secondly the military does tend to have more than it’s share of the “redneck quotient”, typically the type of people who tend to be violently homophobic. (and if you believe many studies, which I tend to, it’s indeed because they’re afraid they might like it) However the proliferation of the internet now has guys who spent their whole lives in Podunk, nameyourbackwaterstate, with a lot more worldly knowledge than they used to. Maybe not enough to have personal experiences but enough to be exposed to a level of tolerance that will prevent the really stupid **** from happening.
(an example: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0324013/ I haven’t seen the movie but know the story, they murdered this soldier because he fell in love with a transgendered nightclub performer. wasn’t doing anything with any other soldier. just stupid)
So I think the level of person they are getting now should be above what was typical just 15 years ago.
Finally my opposition to the concept of DADT has always been that it makes a gay person in the military live a lie. Tell lies. Shroud their entire existence in dishonesty. When you’re issuing security clearances to people that is a big deal, that someone could have dirt on you and you could be thus compromised, not to mention the whole integrity issue.
So whatever they do, DADT has to go. Personally I can’t help but wonder if the whole straight sex thing hasn’t become a bigger problem. (combat ships were all male when I was in, now they are coed and half the women are pregnant after every cruise!)
Before I explain why I was so put off by your Don’t Ask, Just Tell article here’s some info about myself – I am a 26 year old male in the military. I have previously worked in aviation but am now, as you put it, a big, bad, gun-toting, macho combat-warrior type. In the area of gays in the military, gay marriage and the changing policies I honestly feel that I could not care any less. Like John, I have had a boss who was obviously gay and was great at his job and respected by his men, nobody cared about his sexual preferences. I’m not angry that you think we should be more accepting of gays in the military – they already are accepted, we don’t ask because we don’t care. I’m mad that the thanks I get for doing my job, the ugly things nobody wants to see or do is you suggesting I get in touch with my inner gay.
Your article embodies my feeling towards the decline of manliness in this country. I bet you don’t change your own oil in your car, or never have split a cord of wood with an axe. I think of the brave men who were enlisted, and drafted in the wars before my time, what would they think if they read this article today? Regardless of how you feel about this war today, do you know who we are fighting? If not I’ll sum it up, our enemies have 1/10 of the supplies and equipment and 100 times the heart and motivation that we do. They are tough as nails, and bred to be fighters and survivors. I wonder what would they think of your article? So let me get this straight, you, who obviously has never seen any form of combat, would like me, who kicks in doors and busts heads for my brothers and my country, to perhaps swap my frag grenades with pink loufas when I go out on a mission?
You’re damn right I read up on my gun magazines, I like boobs, fast cars and red meat and when I roll up on target people know they are in some deep trouble – I thought that was the type of guy you wanted fighting for you? No? Well, I guess I’ll go read up on Lindsey Lohan instead of clean my rifle, I don’t want to get any gunk under my pretty nails…..
Lady Gaga is an amazing singer. It looks like all her songs becomes instant ear hangers, she probably have tons of money by now